Are you “present” and aware of yourself throughout the day, or do you numb out your feelings and emotions?
Some of us have had past hurts and traumas which make it painful and scary to be fully engaged in the moment. For when we show up completely whole and present in the moment, it actually stimulates our healing response and causes us to bring to the surface and release our past hurts and traumas, if we have any.
That is why for some of us, we can’t be “relaxed” and simply enjoy being present in the moment. For some of us, simply “being” ourselves makes us feel antsy and unsettled. These are the folks that need to reach for that cigarette, for that extra drink, or those who shake their leg when they are sitting still for too long. The ones that seem restless and uneasy and have a hard time maintaining eye contact with you might also have a hard time being with themselves because of unexpressed pains. These are the people who have addictions, who are constantly “doing.” Being addicted to is a great way to distract ourselves from feeling in the moment.
HAVE COMPASSION for people with addictions, in case you have judged them, for they are suffering, 24/7. Imagine it being difficult BEING in your skin. Yet so many of us are addicted, and in denial. I lived a big part of my life, running away from feeling in my own body, and yet I thought I was so healthy and spiritual! Addiction came come in the form of being addicted to sugar, food, going on the computer, surfing the net, and even focusing too much on “being healthy” and “exercising.” We can also get addicted to our thoughts! Lots of forgiveness, yoga, breathing and self-love and self-acceptance practices later, I finally feel at peace and am able to be fully present. I check out sometimes, but I now have the awareness of when I do this, and can use those moments as an opportunity, to tune back IN.
Some of us are running away from ourselves instead of facing ourselves because it might be too scary to feel what is truly going on inside of us. When we numb out and distract ourselves from being fully engaged and present in the moment, we are temporarily soothing and suppressing our pains. It actually requires a lot of energy to numb out and causes “stress to our bodies” when we hold back from feeling and releasing our emotions. Some of us learned to suppress our emotions as children. And we continue this throughout our adult life.
We are perfectly designed to free our emotional pain and feel light and energized most of the time. We are perfectly designed to release. We release when we have a bowel movement, breastfeed, deliver a baby naturally, orgasm, cry and heal. Yet so many of us are constipated, feel stuck, can’t breastfeed, can’t orgasm and have a hard time releasing our emotional pains.
When we tune into how we feel, we release. Release is our nature, and it happens perfectly IF we give ourselves permission to release. For some of us, release is difficult. In order for us to release and feel, it is also required to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and available to feeling whatever arises in us.
Sometimes we judge our own feelings, we wonder why we are crying all of a sudden. Sometimes we get upset with ourselves for feeling a certain way or we guilt or shame ourselves for having certain feelings, and this only ADDS to our emotional stress and desire to numb out.
When we hold onto emotional stress, numb out and judge, we get emotionally constipated and wind up feeling heavy, depressed and drained.
Some ways we tune out:
1. Focusing on trying to fix or change someone else.
2. Over use of tv, cell phone, computer or video games.
3. Sex without intimacy.
4. Binge eating.
5. Emotional shopping.
8. AVOIDING or denying feeling your bodily sensations, acknowledging your thoughts, beliefs and emotions.
How we tune in and feel:
1. Practice mindfulness: non-judgmental moment to moment awareness by “feeling” diaphragmatic breathing.
Take the deepest fullest breaths keeping your shoulders down and back, and allowing your belly, rib cage and chest to expand fully. Feel the expansion, elongation and rhythmical movements that diaphragmatic breathing brings. Allow yourself to completely experience breath as a form of bringing pleasure and lightness into your body. Notice what inhalation and exhalation feels like in your neck, throat, rib cage, abdomen, chest and shoulders. The simple act of noticing expansion helps us tune into who we are.
TIP: Practice 10 Diaphragmatic Breaths in the morning while you are still in bed, then while you are in the shower and while driving to work. Do 10 breaths at a time. Inhale deeply and exhale passively. Notice how you feel from this exercise. Feeling more calm and relaxed is an ideal mental and physical state to awaken your sensual side.
2. Feel your bodily sensations. Notice how you feel. Ask yourself: Do I feel heavy or light, expanded or contracted, soft or hard, warm or cold, tense or peaceful. The more you notice how you feel, the more your mind relaxes. Feel without any judgement, expectation or criticism.
Tip: You tune in when you notice and become aware of how you feel in your body. This is a very healing and energizing exercise. Try it while you are sitting or standing through out the day. For example, notice how you feel as you are walking. Notice how you feel when you are in the shower or sitting on the toilet. Notice how you feel as you are driving, or stopped at a red light. When you feel yourself while you are making love or pleasuring yourself is especially powerful.
3. Practice Forgiveness. Let go of resentment. Forgiveness makes us feel lighter. Understand that no one is ever really trying to hurt you. When someone hurts us it is because they are feeling hurt and misery like company. If I am “in love” with myself, then I want the same for everyone! If I am unhappy, then I will also emit that vibration of unhappiness to others. Have compassion for those that have hurt you. Forgiveness is a way of releasing stress and tension, from the pain of being hurt by ourselves and others.
Tip: Make a list of everyone who has ever hurt you. Make a list of the things you have not forgiven that you have done. Let the words come out on paper. Then say to yourself. I forgive and accept myself and others. Burn the paper. Exhale the past. Forgive and forget.
4. Practice self-acceptance. Self-acceptance IS love. We must be compassionate with ourselves, let go of judgement of ourselves and others to accept ourselves and others more. You are valuable, sacred and important merely because you were created! You are here alive and significant. Each one of us is vital to the existence of the WHOLE. The more you can accept who you are, the more you will be able to accept others and especially accept BEING IN THE MOMENT.
Tip: Practice this affirmation daily and feel yourself as you say this: “I love and accept myself just as I am, now.”
Try it, it is simply a choice. We feel so relaxed and welcome in our bodies, mind and emotions when we accept how we feel and who we are… just as we are. When we do this, we can really start to enjoy ourselves and others for simply who they are, not for what they “do” for us.
TUNE IN daily and notice how your body, mind and emotions flow with more ease and lightness. Notice how you attract healthier experiences in your life. Let me know how these exercises help you! Comment down below.