Have you ever thought of how much time in your day you spend talking bad or commenting to someone about someone else without really knowing what is true?
Did you know that when we talk bad about others we actually are stressing our bodies out and lowering our frequency or vibration? We are harming ourselves when we gossip and comment about other people and what we assume about them.
My seven year old daughter tells me about a little girl in her 1st grade class that is so mean. This little girl excludes my daughter or tries to take her best friend away.
I ask my daughter if she is ever mean to anyone in the past. She responds yes. I ask her if she feels this little girl is generally happy. Right away my daughter says, “No, I think she is not happy, she misses her mommy. Her nanny always is with her, and she tells me how lucky I am because my mommy always picks me up from school. Her mommy can’t because she works all day.”
I realize as my daughter say this that I feel on some level my own daughter misses her mommy (which is me! ). I am recently divorced and it has been quite an adjustment for her (and I !) to live with her mom for 4 days and her daddy for 3 days. Even though we both have been really great at balancing our time with her, it think it pains her that she can’t be with us both at the same time, as when we were living together as a family.
I tell my daughter that we never know why people act the way they do, and that most of the time if we are not uplifting others and showing love and kindness, it is generally because we are not feeling good on the inside.
I ask my daughter for us to pray for this little girl and wish her well. I tell my daughter how important it is for us to never assume anything and also to be love and kindness as much as we humanly can. That we can do so much good for others and ourselves when we hold an intention of bringing lovingkindness for others.
For no one is ever really trying to hurt us, they are not feeling good inside which doesn’t enable them to share love with others.
My daughter looks more relaxed after we speak about this. I ask her to not take anything personally and to be patient with her school mate. I tell her that sometimes in life people will be hurtful, but it is not for us to take on, all we can do is try our best to speak about how we feel and set our own healthy boundaries.
I work as a healer and I can’t really engage in gossiping about anyone the way I used to when I was younger and less conscious about it’s impact on my health and the health of others. At this point in my life, it just doesn’t feel right for me to go on and on about how rude someone can be, or how tactless or disrespectful. People are just plain not able to give what they don’t have inside to give to themselves.
I met a man who was not the most respectful towards me, he was immature in his manner of speaking to me. After I saw him in different situations I realized, he doesn’t respect himself and he actually self-sabotages himself. I see that I too in the past have done the same!
I immediately have compassion and empathy for him and I wish him well. I pray that one day he may see the beautiful and intelligent man that he is. I also acknowledge that I don’t have to surround myself with someone that doesn’t treat me in a respectful way.
I have a lot of friends and choose wisely as I really value myself today, more than ever. But I wish the best for everyone as I know we all affect one another and are so interconnected.
If I spend my day talking about how this person mistreated me or how he can be so rude, I am reducing myself to the same thing that I did not enjoy in relating with him.
I can lower myself, or I can uplift myself and him. Energetically when I pray for someone and wish them well, I am helping to heal and bring more consciousness and connection to all of us.
Gossip is draining and it is harmful to ourselves. I thank all the gossiping I ever did in my life for reminding me of how draining it can be to gossip, how it really reduces me and I now see how it is not something that I wish to practice and re-create in my life.
Many times it’s easier criticize and point the finger at someone else to distract ourselves from sitting with parts of ourselves that we are not proud of, that we feel guilty and ashamed about or that we have judged and disconnected from. Author, Debbie Ford calls these parts the shadow.
To truly love ourselves and others, we must re-member and embrace all of our parts, even the ones that we are not proud of. This means to love the parts that we may feel guilty or ashamed of, the parts that are ugly and mean at times.
To recognize that we all at some point have been and will be all of the above is to truly accept and love ourselves in a deeper way. This is the first step towards healing and truly living authentically.
I love to know what you all think about gossip, as I feel women do this more often than men. Why do you gossip? What do you gain from it? Are you ready and willing to let it go and focus on loving more?
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